Thought Tool

Article – On Seeing Opportunities And Helping People

The core idea of this article is that you don’t necessarily have to go out and find ‘contacts’ to seize extra opportunities in your life. Many of the people you already know loosely, or those closer to you, could very well be all you need. You have to ask and find out. And more importantly, you may have the resources or connections that these people could use to achieve greater professional or personal success. In this article I will discuss looking for more easily accessible opportunities and how to make use of them…

Because I am really subtle.

Consider where you are in life now. If you are satisfied and successful, it may be because of some of these principles. These ideas can aid you. If you are dissatisfied and unsuccessful these ideas can greatly aid you. I didn’t ‘invent’ any of this, this is simply the time honoured means that people have been using to ‘get things done’ for centuries now. It doesn’t mean that make any claim to being an epic business success either, though I do embrace this philosophy wholeheartedly in my dealings with others.

There is an old business cliché; “your network is your net worth“. In a way this is true. Generally speaking, famous people are rich. They have lots of opportunities to provide value to the marketplace because lots of people know them and what they can do. They take advantage of these opportunities and grow wealthy. But who says that they should get all the rewards of being known for what they are good at?

Collaborative Mindset – The Key To Great Things (and pretty much everything!)

Simply put, the collaborative mindset acknowledges that we are more than the sum of our parts and you don’t have to do everything alone. It also symbolises the fact that the very world we live in as an integrated organic and political system. The social contract is built on the idea of collaboration. Society would not have come about if people hadn’t decided to collaborate on things. Pretty much everything you see around you required the work of multiple people. Example of the few things that may be completely in isolation are natural art, such as wood carvings done by a single person in isolation, but even then, unless the guy made the knife he used to carve the wooden artifact, he had some outside help getting his tools. Hell, even you were the product of a collaboration between Mum and Dad.

Collaborative Mindset (literally)

Your opinion and philosophy was shaped by all the external stimuli that other people have given you. Yes, you are completely unique in your philosophy and I’m sure that you ‘think for yourself’ but much of the ideas and psychological paradigms that you construct your thinking with came from other people.

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Neither your perspective nor this building were built in isolation.

What I am trying to emphasize here with thousands of words is that nobody succeeds alone. Society has built up a mythical persona of the rugged individualist and the self made man. Think John Rambo, singlehandedly killing an entire army for great justice. But realistically, it doesn’t work that way. Even commandos operate in small units and get their ammunition, training and orders from other people.

Without collaboration human society would not exist. The moment we stop collaborating, is the moment it all begins to collapse. Just imagine what would happen if everyone in the world suddenly gained the mindset of absolutely self interested 2 year old children. It wouldn’t last long, would it?

So, hopefully I’ve hammered that point in enough…

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The rugged individualist needs no help whatsoever and cannot be killed by conventional weapons.

The Idea

So, amongst your network of friends and associates is the potential to create connections that can create magnificent improvements, be these financial, emotional or social. You can literally change your life completely and for the better with the influence of just one person.

And it goes both ways. Like an operator at a switchboard of opportunity, you have a role as networker, which now conscious of, you can choose to accept or reject.

The examples are endless. It may be as simple as having a problem that somebody out there knows the answer to. Perhaps you are a seeker with a spiritual question that someone can help you answer by his or her very example? Then there are the obvious examples of new friends, lovers, mentors and companions out there waiting to be found. People are almost unanimously the source of all fun and frustration in your life. And all a network really is, is a means to bring in all the wonderful things that people do and have into your world. Without other people life would be so depressingly boring that you’d probably be dead. Or insane. Who wants to be a hermit really?

It takes a special sort of person to willingly relinquish contact with society.

I apply the idea by trying to consciously be as helpful and as useful as I can in the way I live. When people talk to me, I always tell them to ‘let me know if I can be of any more help’. I must have said it a thousand times. And I say it with the utmost sincerity. Yet I am always amazed at how little people are willing to take advantage of the help I would give freely and happily.

I think that one of the things behind this is that perhaps the promise to offer more help if required is seen merely as a social convention. The same way you say ‘good morning’ despite the fact that your cat has been run over, you’ve burnt your toast and a virus just corrupted last night’s work.

Unhelpful Habits

To better apply the idea there are some old habits that don’t really serve you or the world at large. They may need to be overcome. To overcome them, first you must identify them…

Habit 1: Schadenfreude or being a ‘Sports Dad’

Firstly, schadenfreude is not for you anymore. You have nothing to gain from not helping your network succeed. Satisfaction arranged from ‘being in the same boat’ is weak at best and disgusting at worst. Consider, if one of those close to you has an opportunity to succeed, the new level they reach in life may present countless opportunities for you, let alone the happiness you get from seeing someone else you love being happy! If you should feel challenged by the idea of a loved one succeeding at anything, perhaps ask yourself why you feel this way? Does it make you feel inferior? Why? You are no worse or better than anyone else. The idea is meaningless. It’s not rational!

What real reasons would you have for not wanting a loved one to succeed? I can’t think of any.

Perhaps be encouraging. People need encouragement like people need food. That doesn’t mean be a ‘Sports Dad’. Sports Dads sometimes turn the idea of offering encouragement into ‘complete control of my child’s life’. You can give little nudges, but pushing is usually unhelpful. People hate being pushed, obviously, and can turn resentful, which is no good for anyone.

On the flipside, sometimes you need a Sports Dad (but maybe a personal coach is better?). Perhaps Tiger Woods or Michael Jordan lost significant parts of their childhood to the endless practice of their craft, but I think it is fair to say they are both being amply rewarded for their excellence now!

The key thing is that they both got heroic and consistent encouragement at that all-important time in their lives.

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Sometimes you need a Sports Dad.

Habit 2: Treating people badly

Yeah, it is completely obvious but treating people badly for the sake of it really is harming more than just the receiver of your abuse. You may have seen the old cartoon of the boss who shouts at an employee, who shouts at his wife, who shouts at her son, who kicks the cat, and so on… This seems like a very reasonable way of describing the way that a message travels about, both good and bad. It is hard for us to get anything done if we are exerting our energies on sabotaging the progress of other people.

Habit 3: Not Asking For Help

If you have bought into the idea of the rugged individualist mythos in any way, you may feel guilty for asking people for help. I know what it feels like. You are supposed to measure up to the other people, right? You’ve got to be able to do your own graphic design, sales, raise 3 happy healthy children be able to run a marathon, know all the right people AND still have time for a good book. Right?

Wrong. I’ve been Mr. One Man Army and it was not a good time in my life, and if you’ve ever tried to go there fully, I think you’ll know what I mean.

You might be surprised to know that provided it is not too arduous, most people like to help each other. It gives us good feelings about ourselves. Why else does giving the right present at Christmas feel so wonderful and why else would people spend so much time and money in charitable acts or volunteering? Let people help you for their own good!

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I think that Indiana Jones is another example of the archetypical ‘Rugged Individualist’

Caveat: this is clearly not the same as being a social parasite that tries to extract as much energy and resources as possible from other people. You want a little help, not to be carried for the rest of your life, right?

Networking

Not just ‘schmoozing’ for personal gain.

Networking sometimes takes on a negative connotation of seeing people as social ends and ‘befriending’ them solely for what they can do for you. Other times it gets overcomplicated by all sorts of messages that detract from the simple aphorism which can sum the whole idea up; ‘give to get’. It’s really not that hard (unless, I would imagine you are a politician or someone rather famous, but that is something else entirely..)

The true networker understands the value of helping his network and geometrically increasing the opportunities and possibilities within. Every addition to his associative group adds a magnitude of potential.

To put it simply; if you know 500 people on terms that you are friendly enough to converse with, and you meet a new person, you now have a potential 500 introductions to make.

That could be 500 new opportunities for everybody in your network.

What’s the problem then? People don’t tell each other what they want and what they can offer. I am as guilty as this as ever. Sometimes I think it would be a great idea for us all to have an elevator pitc, in the same way we all brush our teeth or take showers as a social obligation. You meet someone at a party and that inevitable fucking question of “what do you do/where do you work/how do you derive an income” etc. comes up. You tell them about your job and they nod and smile. Often that’s about all that happens. A superficial connection and not much opportunity for either of you to help each other.

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Got one?

However, some people are much better at this. You meet them and they tell you what they do as a benefit and what they need. Sort of like an abbreviated self-description/elevator pitch. For example, “I’m John, and I’m an attorney who helps ensure that there is fairness in the workplace. I’m looking for people who have been mistreated at work who want help in claiming what they are due”.

Yes, I just made this up. But it sums up what John does and what he needs most at this moment.

Do you have one? I still don’t. My excuse is that I haven’t really found what it is I do yet. Or, I do too many things. Maybe your life is better organized than mine, and if so, what’s your excuse for not having one?

Making Matches In Heaven

Another way to make use of networking is through the process of matchmaking. If your friends or acquaintances are heartsick and lonely (and they’ve actually got the balls to tell you), you may be able to aid them in finding that special other person. I must admit that I have no experience whatsoever in matchmaking but am told it is very personally rewarding to successfully match people up. I can see why.

With this in mind I’d think it is best not to match up people from too close a set of social circles. We’ve all seen Fallout from a broken relationship cause complications that spread between mutual friendship groups. But, ask someone who’s actually done it though!

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In Singapore, the social development unit is an actual government provided service that matches up (amongst other things) couples by educational background.

Getting On The Train – Opportunity Goldmine!

Getting the train is actually pretty significant, once you get over the monotonous similarity of the same route that you may have taken one too many times for your liking. Why? Because there are absolutely ridiculous amounts of opportunities that we all miss, every day to meet new people on public transport. How many people do you ‘meet’ (as in see or spend time with) but actually not speak to in a year? Hundreds. Maybe thousands.

Yeah, the train is usually not acknowledged as the best place to go for ‘business networking’, but I’ve probably passed up hundreds of potential band members, girlfriends, business partners and drinking buddies in the last year of time I have spent getting around in central London. The real problem is, though we are all awash in such opportunities, we still have the stranger divisions and social stigma associated with talking to new people. Sometimes we are just too polite. It is a real and tragic shame to be so surrounded by life, yet to often feel so disconnected from it all, hiding behind today’s issue of The Guardian.

As an aside, I’m actually typing this part of the article on the train. They guy next to me is reading The Evening Standard, and I’ve got my head down, typing. Delicious irony, but a bit sad all the same.

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How many very interesting relationships are waiting for the people here? Yet most of them are fiddling on their phones or reading. Image credit: xarj

Life Should Be More Like A Party And Less Like A Commute…

Now here’s where the thought experiment begins… Think of a party environment. It is rare that you actually know everybody at the party, but if it is a good party you are pretty comfortable with everyone there, right? In a way this is because everyone at this party knows everybody else in some way through mutual connections. You see an interesting looking person and you know that you probably know someone who knows them. Maybe the alcohol and the music help a bit? You can have that conversation if you want.

I think it is not about pitching people when you meet them. I as much as anyone else hate this. Yes you offer things, but you aren’t just a commercial service with legs and mouth that won’t stop yapping. Your offerings can be given from a selfless place. One that does not expect anything in return. Give of yourself freely. It is hard to put this mindset into words, but it is the difference between having a conversation with someone and that very tangible feeling of discomfort when someone is trying to sell you something you don’t want.

Of course you can also consider Kant’s Categorical Imperative (felt like throwing that in again), which simply states that you should not treat people as a means to anything, but instead should treat them as ends. It’s just a fancy way of saying that using people isn’t cool. Thanks Kant.

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Networking; Making the improbable actual...

LIONS [LinkedIn Open Networkers]

Obviously, networking isn’t constrained purely to face-to-face interaction. I first came across Open Networking on LinkedIn, the social network aimed at businesspeople.

Online, open networking is an idea based around the concept of creating a collaborative environment. An open networker is one who will connect with literally everybody. Even strangers or those they have not done business with yet. Nobody clicks ‘I don’t know this person’

I guess you could say an open networker also cultivates an open-minded approach to dealing with people, at least online. With the connective potential of the Internet, open networking is enormously powerful, if we do it right. Imagine a world where you logged onto a social networking site, and people actually spent time offering each other helpful personal connections, opportunities and advice, instead of ceaseless Farmville or Mafia Wars requests. Hey, it could happen!

It works quite well on LinkedIn, because the website has a smart system of introductions and networks, based around mutual acquaintances and degrees of separation. Therefore it is in everyone’s best interest to have a larger number of connections, and with people who are also well connected. That way, if you should need to speak to that certain person, an Open Networker may help you make the first or second level connection that could change your life. And a good open networker is going to happily make that introduction for you. Yes, really!

Connectors love connecting others. They are invaluable.

Is a good place to meet a certain sort of person.

Done right, Open Networking is a way to form relationships with a large number of compassionate and well-connected people for mutual gain and cooperation. Done wrong it is a bunch of people adding you to their newsletters off of LinkedIn and mailing you stuff that you don’t want. Often about recruitment, or for some weird reason, weddings. My general experience of Open Networking has been brilliant (after hitting unsubscribe a few too many times) – and I have met some interesting people, which is very significant to me.

To find these people, look for references to the words LION, TopLinked or Open Networker in their profile. They may also list their email address on their profile so that you can ‘add them as a friend’, with no prior connection.

And if you are a LinkedIn user and are so inclined, add the capitalized word LION to your name somewhere. Then see what happens…

Might be able to help you with your career goals.

Conclusion – If You Haven’t Started Yet…

Perhaps you know me already. Perhaps you don’t. However, if this article has inspired you to think differently about how you interact with people that you already know, or with those new to you, then that’s good.

After all, people are everywhere, and most everybody is looking for new opportunities or some way of feeling better. You can help them.

And if it feels appropriate, connect with me. Tell me what you can offer and what you need. I am happy to help in any way I can.

Author name:: admin
Publish date:: July 11th, 2011
Discussion:: No Comments

Article – Changing The Game – Black and White and Accepting Every Shade of Grey

Image Credit: Wade M

This is an article in where I take a fleeting glimpse at the human cognitive need to reduce a world of amazing complexity and depth into simple black and white. It is written hopefully to help us all in the conscious practice of noticing self deception and living more mindful lives.

We are never as bad or good as we think ourselves to be.

Human thought and emotion have a tendency towards gross exaggeration and fixation. I think most people are obsessed with ourselves. Me included! That is just how we all are. We identify with a small ‘area’ of perceptive consciousness and don’t know what we don’t know outside of it.

If you are striving for an outcome and visualise yourself between two places – ‘perfect’ and ‘failure’ – you are eventually going to ‘fail’. These alternating periods of ‘loss’ may be seen when your natural movements take you away from your area of ‘perfection’. No you cannot be in the zone all the time, otherwise the whole idea of the zone would have lost it’s meaning. Think of the anorexic, who sees an unreal representation of themselves staring back in the mirror.

Defining The Horizon For What It Is

As far as I know, Dan Sullivan (of Strategic Coach) coined a term; ‘The Horizon’. The Horizon is an ongoing, ever moving outcome that is fixed in the distance, despite all your progress towards it. What a delicious metaphor. Like a chasing the horizon on the earth will lead you in circles around the globe, chasing and expecting to reach this impossible horizon may only disappoint you.

The horizon presents a mirage; across the impassible line, perfection awaits! And perfection is the target. And it’s just like reaching a horizon, which isn’t something tangible that can be located, but a purely visual phenomenon. If you believe The Horizon to be real and chase it, you’ll not be able to ‘succeed’. Instead, you may beat yourself into a motivational coma over your perceived failures. I speak from hard personal experience where I mention how my own perfectionist attitudes have crushed so many of my opportunities and hopes. ‘Horizon thinking’ is something I am still struggling to overcome, and of course I’m not the only one.

Songwriting is an example. I can tweak the chord progression on a song in the time it takes a less pedantic artist to get an album deal. Terrible, I know.

Alternatively you may have no ambitions to do anything whatsoever and are therefore not even playing the game. You can’t win, nor can you lose, and may be leading a life which more resembles a spectator sport. If this is happiness for you, then keep at it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, and nothing lost. No fun though.

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Keep chasing..

Redefinition Of Perspective

But, for all you hard charging aspirational types perhaps you can look at your efforts to succeed a little differently. See it instead of a ‘contiuum’ of winning (like Charlie Sheen’s life). Be in the right part of the continuum. A friend of mine also put it to me profoundly when she said that if there were no target, there would be no movement and therefore no personal growth. So, knowing that the thrill of the chase is what is good for you could be an important step.

Think about courting. Some of the most fun you have is when you really don’t know what the other person’s feelings are or what might come of your possible relationship. Relationships get stale when the interaction patterns are too easily predicted. That’s why ‘moving in’ seems like a way to kill the fun a bit.

Now lets look at nature. Every thing in nature is on a continuum between infinites. Keep going far enough and you may end up back where you started. Perfection is a concept and not a possible outcome. It’s just a marker pointing at a place. And you can go past the place, beyond ‘perfection’: defined here as the arbitrary sweet spot, and end up moving back towards ‘imperfection’ again. You aren’t shooting for the end of the bell curve, you shoot for the middle, where the value is highest.

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Bad graph, simple concept.

“Fill your bowl to the brim and it will spill. Keep sharpening your knife and it will blunt. Chase after money and security and your heart will never unclench. Care about people’s approval and you will be their prisoner. Do your work, then step back. The only path to serenity.” – Tao Te Ching

Health and Fitness – When Diet = Religion

I like to use health and fitness to illuminate this point. Some of us become so fixated on ‘healthy eating’ that we obsess over food and can no longer ‘be healthy’. This creates a level of neurotic micromanagement that is often not helpful to the person striving for a healthy lifestyle. The ego becomes invested, as one diet becomes the ‘right’ diet. Some people even become evangelical about their dietary choices. Obsessing over food, obtaining that elusive dietary purity, this is all The Horizon. People get eating disorders or become militant in their dietary philosophies. Think about vegans who harm humans for harming animals. Humans are animals too, right? Hard to work that one out.

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If you'd rather down an entire tub of cream than eat some potatoes at Christmas, you may have an irrational attitude towards consuming carbohydrates. Yes, I know of somebody who seriously planned to do this a few years ago. I wonder if he did?

Human Conditioning

In other ways the horizon manifests as a chase we’ve termed the human condition. In a simple manifestation we see it in the need to buy more and more things. It often manifests as addiction. The devil waves a carrot in your face whilst he lashes your back. Forward you go!

Conversely, achieving the goal brings a short-lived rush of elation, but does not provide ongoing satisfaction or peace. Your shiny new toy satisfies you for a few months, but then you come to take it for granted. The young Olympian who has been training for the majority of their life and then wins gold needs a new goal. People who retire often die soonafter, declining in health at remarkable speed, raisin d’etere expired. I hear this is even more of a problem if they have no significant relationships or children to live vicariously through. Infinitely sad.

Don’t play that game. Try one with some new rules that you can ‘win’ in.

Don’t see yourself on a line between two values, alternately good and holy or bad and unholy. Black and white. If you do, you are at risk of moralizing

You cannot fail if you are not trying to succeed.

To do this the obsession with everything going your way must be discarded. For, what will happen, will happen. Things go wrong. You are not diminished by exterior circumstances going awry. You do anyway, unconditionally. And though these things may reflect upon you, they are not you.

Unconditional doing is easier than you think. Keep it simple, and don’t think about it so much.

In Zen In The Art of Archery this is described in the act of firing the arrow before you know you are ready.

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A book worth reading.

Of course, not thinking about something is hard if it is all you can think about. But you can think about whatever the hell you want. There are no limits on your cogitations.

And sometimes all that thinking does you no good. In argument no position is invulnerable. No lifestyle position is either…

Diets and Religion – My Facts Are Better Than Your Facts

No intellectual fortress has walls thick enough to withstand everything thrown at it. If you read deeply enough into philosophy you’ll find that usually each school is able to undermine the other. Put two leading thinkers from conflicting schools of thought together and it is quite doubtful that they’ll actually reach a meaningful conclusion. Often if they’re not trying to hurt each other, the event can be termed a success. This aside, the odds of one changing the other’s mind are slim.

Advocates of certain diets will do the same thing. The ‘is a calorie a calorie?‘ argument has presented ample evidence for both sides. Many studies conflict. Diet gurus and nutrition researchers pick and choose from the massive storehouse of research data to support their conclusion. Between vegetarians and meat eaters the same thing happens. Each side cites key studies whilst the other side then immediately dismantles them. Facts are easily cherrypicked and if not cherrypicked, easily distorted. ‘Facts’ are simply convenient information to be skillfully arranged in a way that suits your argument. And there’s no shortage of facts.

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There may be an idealogical divide that separates you and certain foods.

“Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumored by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it.” – Buddha

Computers Can Answer, But Only Humans Ask (so far…)

In a way declaring ‘truth’ is hubris. By nature our search for truth is flawed by how we think. Yet, what much of what motivates humans is this need to find ‘the truth’. Yes, the complete, 100% objective, unmistakably and unerringly accurate truth. Never mind the fact of the simplifications, generalisations and presuppositions made by the epic reductionism that our brains are continually up to, just to make the world comprehensible. No! Once we think we’ve got this truth, and are ‘beyond a shadow of a doubt’ it often (but not always) becomes an exercise in sharing. It’s obvious. I know what is ‘right’ – and now everybody else needs some education. Those bloody ideologies form. We seem oblivious to the idea that maybe we are mistaking subjectivity for objectivity again. Haha! Me? Never.

Because truth is hard to find and define with your human mind getting in the way…

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Many readers will probably find their slogans to be horrendous or offensive, but I am sure they believe they are acting in the best interest of everybody.

I have heard it said that ‘the mind is a liar and a whore‘. That’s sounds a bit harsh. I think it is more of a trickster working with the best intentions. Perhaps we should put a greater stress on encouraging and teaching critical thinking and see if we can’t straighten it out a bit? If my experience of school is anything to go by, the educational environment is far better at teaching us to conform and integrate into society upon the point of maturation. No questioning of teachers and no cheating! Don’t get too critical, or it’s detention for you.

Surely we can do better?

I don’t think we can really authentically train free thinkers. But, not encouraging free thinkers is a bad thing because without them we risk eventually stagnation. It’s those people out there on the edges that cut new paths after all, right? There is probably a fine line in how much individual ‘free thinking’ is beneficial for society. That everpresent middle ground. Think too freely and you go off the grid, or think like a slave and expect to live and die as one. But if you think slavery is ok for you, then I suppose it is. Wage slavery is more than just a satirical phrase after all…

Libertarianism – Who Am I To Tell You What To Do?

Libertarianism is the closest thing I have to a political philosophy because I believe it embraces the idea that other people telling you what to do is contrary to your personal truth.

The idea is simple. Give people as much freedom as possible, whilst protecting the freedom of others to live unencumbered. I suppose I see it as the closest thing to anarchy but with some sort of governmental footprint. Plus; the less ‘governing’ there is, the fewer opportunities for trespassing on liberty, or other mistakes of governance. But I do not claim to be an expert on politics. Google ‘libertarianism’ if you want more information from people better informed than I.

What draws me to libertarianism is that it has faith that people and markets do not need to be micromanaged, oppressed or encumbered. It could be seen as the nascent evolution of 2000 years of European democracy.

All the early governmental systems I can think of where not very egalitarian at all. Think of the dictatorships, monarchies, oligarchies and tribal hierarchies that societies have used in the centuries past. Regardless of the specifics, each society had people at the bottom, and these people paid the price for their position. They lived hard, hard lives. I would not want to have been a slave in Rome. Even if it was the most ‘advanced’ culture in the world back then.

But has really taken this long for us to learn to stop oppressing each other? I don’t even think we are there yet.

And no, it doesn’t mean I tell other people that libertarianism is the best way. Which is kind of what politics is all about isn’t it? Telling people what to do. I suppose libertarianism is just my best way.

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Do you agree?

Science – Not Infallible Either

A sad weakness in the scientific method is the inherent human bias and tendency to filter information and make decisions based on preferences, even unintentionally. Ironically, it seems science was invented to take us as far away from this bias as possible. But, within science the same ‘religious’ patterns of thinking can form. Consider the many examples of the outright rejection of new scientific ideas, theories and results by the scientific mainstream. Even Albert Einstein, who had shaken up and redefined science’s physical fundamentals in his earlier years, could not accept quantum mechanics. He thought that a universe operating on probability and random events was fundamentally wrong. God does not play dice, after all.

Much of science is directed by a need to prove or disprove a hypothesis. Though data can be gathered and analysed, the ability to develop a hypothesis is the function of a creative thinking conscious mind. An answer is nothing without a question to contextualize it. And we are questioning machines!

The great man spent the remainder of his life working on a ‘Unified Theory’ that would compete with quantum mechanics

So yes, though the answers are important, the important questions are being asked by people, not computers. I believe that science is as much the process and act of discovery as it is the proof or disproof of a hypothesis. Put another way, science is a way of thinking, not just a means to get ‘results’. You do science. Sometimes just asking a question and not getting an answer is what you need. You just get more questions. Useful questions.

If you find yourself a good coach or therapist, they’ll give you very little in the way of answers. They’ll reflect your questions back at you until the questions you are facing up to start to get painful. And these are the questions that you need to be asking yourself.

How To Become Intellectually Invincible

That probably sounds horrendously pretentious, or impossible doesn’t it? Hear me out.

It is often better to be a questioner than an answerer. Spiritual and intellectual invulnerability comes from taking no position. We do not fight. We do not know. We know that we do not know. Nobody can disagree. There is nothing to disagree with. We do not invest ourselves in intellectual or conceptual positions.

This is also a critical factor in negotiation, as all things being equal, the party that doesn’t care as much needs to make fewer concessions to reach their desired outcome. Much of the art of negotiation is to disguise the extent and scale of our wants.

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blah

Yes we can use conventions and systems to help us arrange and administer our world, we can negotiate and participate, act on what we feel is good. But we accept that these are only ideas, and are not embraced as ideological positions. As Bill Hicks said; “it’s all a ride!”

Saying this, ideas becoming ideologies may not always be a bad thing. Some times a crusade mentality provides a proactive approach to problem solving. Perhaps a crusade has the impetus as force to mobilize and direct groups of people. But not in making war and death, disguising it through religious smoke and mirrors (for example; killing pagans for being ‘evil’ and godless). No, instead perhaps we can plan more helpful crusades against poverty and channel these aggressive tendencies towards constructive ends?

I believe it is happening already. ONE and Comic Relief are inspiring examples. But maybe we need more?

jack oughton article lyndon johnson 245x300 Article Changing The Game Black and White and Accepting Every Shade of Grey

Whatever happened to the War on Poverty anyway?

Don’t Go Against The Inevitable

Black and white thinking is often ideological by nature. Like the silence, darkness cannot be destroyed or defeated. Darkness can only be staved off temporarily by light. But without light, darkness would have no meaning. It only exists as an absence of light.

Silence cannot be defeated by shouting – after our throats are hoarse, the silence is back just as was before. It waits forever for us to quieten and returns in our absence. And noise cannot exist without silence, as noise is silence’s opposite.

So, yes, there is an inherent duality to everything, but that doesn’t mean we should only look at separate ends of the continuum. White can only exist with black, but between complete darkness and engulfing light there is a rainbow of colour and every shade of grey. And it is in that middle ground where the balance is.

jack xij oughton bird flying by a rainbow on a rainy day 001 300x225 Article Changing The Game Black and White and Accepting Every Shade of Grey

And what a beautiful horizon it is. Image credit: Charles Tilford

Author name:: admin
Publish date:: July 9th, 2011
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Article – Uses of the word ‘just’

“Whatever words we utter should be chosen with care for people will hear them and be influenced by them for good or ill”

‘Just’ is only a word, right? Sure, it seems innocent, but it can also be an insidious means of daily self sabotage that you havn’t even realised. How is that, you may ask?

In application the word can be a cowardly. It’s used as a mitigator. Used to justify things.

For example, we often justify evil deeds after we have done them.

“I was just following orders..”

“I just wanted to get her attention..”

‘Just’ is used to soften the blow or obscure the true nature of the statement. It clouds the meaning of a past event or tries to abdicate responsibility. When you disclaim responsibility, in a personal sense you disempower yourself.

‘Just’ is often a dishonestly used precursor to something unpleasant. A nurse reassures you that she’s ‘just’ going to ‘pop‘ this needle in your arm, then pulls out a syringe with a 8 inch tip. Of course, this needle may have the anti-venom that saves your life. All is relative!

‘Just’ gets a say in how we make law:

We need justice of course..

But justice relies on law, and law is defined by morality. And morality is a human construct, as far as can be seen. There are no laws other than the laws of nature (unless you believe in karma?)

Building on this point and generalizing a little, human morality is closer to fashion than natural law. Over the centuries, as ethics have ‘evolved’ morality has changed remarkably. The Romans thought slaves where OK. The Nazis thought Jews where subhuman. Cavemen (may) have thought killing people outside of your tribe was ok.

Goes without saying that this doesn’t mean you should go raping and pillaging, using the excuse that there is no absolute morality. Saying this I am sure people out there have used it as an excuse. Perhaps people who read a lot of Nietzsche?

And of course there are exceptions to ethical ‘fashions’, most cultures throughout history seem to agree that murdering people and sexing up your kin is a bad business!

nazis 300x209 Article Uses of the word just

Just taking the flag for a walk...

In terms of personal power, justification can be a terrible way to continually sell yourself short without realizing it. Why do you have to justify yourself to anyone? Why do you have to justify anything you do?

Are you not confident in your actions? Are people continually challenging your motivations or if what you are doing is ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. Do you feel that you have to justify it to them or face some sort of punishment?

Is the voice of some long gone authority figure in your head, still trying to give you orders?

You are better than that!

Try a little experiment in personal power.

Make a conscious effort to monitor what you say and minimise your use of ‘just’ in conversation. Whenever you feel you may say it, don’t! You’ll probably find that the insidious thing slips out on it’s own anyway! Your social conditioning can be hard to break indeed. Remember, you aren’t ‘just’ going to do something, you either do or you don’t.

Consider it possible that every time you use the word just before anything else that you sell yourself short. You are in a way trying to mitigate what you are about to do. Do you need to do that so often?

‘Just’ is just a word. But it is what it implies about your motives and sense of certainty when you use it that is important.

TL;DR: Don’t use the word ‘just’ as much as you usually do, you don’t need to justify yourself so much.

Author name:: admin
Publish date:: May 16th, 2011
Discussion:: No Comments

Thought Tool: Attaining ‘It’ and Now.

It is the attainment of.

Of what? I cannot name it.

it is always available now.

But it may have to wait until you accept that it can happen now.

in this way, it may not happen now

until you are ready to allow it to.

Author name:: admin
Publish date:: September 25th, 2010
Discussion:: No Comments

Thought Tool – The Chisel

Perhaps it is time for you to conduct a little soul searching.

What is the one thing that holds you back the most right now, no matter how happy you are, or how well you are doing in other ways?

Of all the limitations you may have, no matter how many or how few, it would be logical to infer that one impedes you more than others.

Find it, make plans to overcome it and act upon them.

Then conduct the test again and remove the next block that has fallen into the place of the one you have overcome.

Your most significant block could be a true hurdle to surmount indeed, which is all the more reason to be free of it.

In choosing to do this, you are chipping away at adversity, and you are adding nothing but greater simplicity to yourself. This can be more readily seen as removing the things which obscure you as the form you want to be.

With The Chisel, you are the masterpiece, cutting yourself out from the undifferentiated rock of ill circumstances or disadvantage. You grow clearer, more sharply defined with every year of this practice. The Japanese call it Kaizen, or change for the better. That never ending move towards improvement.

In this way you are never complete, but you are always better.

jack xij oughton poem article self made man statue 001 225x300 Thought Tool The Chisel

Chisel away..

Author name:: admin
Publish date:: September 23rd, 2010
Discussion:: No Comments

Article – Thought Tool – Meaning Well

Here’s something you may not have done for a while..
It is a wonderful daily practice, and a spiritual exercise of great power.
It’s benefits are huge. it is the feeling of giving a well received gift at Christmas, magnified a thousand or more times.
It is probably more akin in spirit to anonymous giving. It yields the same benefits.
It is ever so simple. here’s how to do it..
Ω
Practice saying “i love you” until you mean it. Until you really mean it.
You don’t have to say it aloud. It’s probably best that you don’t. Just have that feeling and direct it at your subject.
Don’t tell people what you are doing. Be anonymous. Don’t stare. Don’t give the game away.
Don’t stop either! Mean well at all times. Direct wellness at specific things as appropriate.
At first it may feel peculiar. That’s OK, new things often do. Just keep dong it until it is ingrained like habit or instinct.
Do it from wherever you start today. A message for the resentful or deeply person; you may benefit from doing this fastest.
Say it, until it stops feeling weird or un-natural.
Until it stops feeling forced.
Until your positive intention feels as real as you do.
Ω
Say it in front of a mirror to yourself
Say it to a tree
Say it to a rock.
Say it to someone in your past that has harmed you (possibly one of the most important subjects)
Say it to the noisy dog trying to scare you away
Say it to the noisy child on public transport who doesn’t seem to care about the other passengers (you may find your indignance abating)
Ω
Why do this?
if i still have to tell you there may be no point in you doing it yet.
Just imagine the world if everyone remembered to mean well to others.
What you give, comes back to you. It may arrive in so many different and unexpected ways.
Maybe this picture will explain it better than all the words I use here..

image credit: kabils

Author name:: admin
Publish date:: August 5th, 2010
Discussion:: No Comments

Article – Thought Tool – Life, Your Teacher

Education is a personal choice. Not a responsibility. Not an obligation. True progress comes from willing self education. Can we teach people a love of learning? Or is that also something people acquire themselves?

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Consider your experience as your classroom, and life as your teacher.
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But, life is no ordinary educator, oh no! Life is erratic and seems to have an incomprehensible lesson plan set out, just for you.
Life does not follow any hard and fast rules or laws, apart from those imposed upon it by nature.
Life sets tests but has a mark scheme just for you. Copy other students at your peril!
Life wants you to learn and knows the best way to do this is by giving you as varied and unexpected lesson structure as possible.
It’s a compulsory education and you are signed up for extended classes until you die!
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Life also knows that some lessons are pleasant and some are painful, but all are as informative as you choose for them to be.
Remember this in times when you are down and unhappy, or feel yourself trapped in a situation or crisis. What is life trying to teach you here?
Remember this when you are on top of the world and feel yourself to be unstoppable. What is life preparing next for you?
In your painful moments and you will learn optimism and strength. In your triumphant moments you can learn humility and charity.
When you are bored, life may want you to go for novel experiences or new environments, and when you are prejudiced, life may be prodding you to try acceptance.
*******
Writing bad poetry will teach you good poetry (or may increase the odds that a piece of gold emerges from the literary riverbed).
Experiencing an argument may sharpen your people skills.
A financial loss may teach you the value of accounting,
and a child will definitely teach you patience!
*****
You can be happy and know that whatever happens, you can profit from it by learning something. This is what I am trying to remind you (you already know this at some level).
To apply what life has taught you is your personal wisdom. This is experience that although can be learnt by others, can only be applied uniquely to the singular circumstances of our lives. If a ‘cookie cutter’ life template worked, we could all go and copy someone like Mark Cuban and become billionaires. Or we could all copy Einstein and rewrite the laws of science. Apply the metaphor to any field of achievement you choose…
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The application of this personal wisdom to your life promises you a more significant and accomplished existance. Why wait until you are ‘old’ to be deemed knowledgeable? Why wait for people to tell you that you are wise? Don’t wait for academic qualifications or the acolades of strangers, as they may never come.
Besides, life is going to faithfully keep setting up learning opportunities, regardless of what others are saying about you.
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The faster you accept this, the sooner you’ll start to yield the benefits. The easiest way to learn is to take your lumps and recognise the classroom. Acknowledge this now and start get more from every experience you are given. Steepen the learning curve by increasing your receptivity.
*****
Pain: Indicator Of Importance.
Consider this is as well…
It has been said that humans learn best through painful experience. Perhaps it was an evolutionary response that ensured we got the most out of each dangerous close call we survived.
Lessons learned from the local sabretooth?
We have all had painful experiences we wish not to repeat again. What happens to those who are born into privilege and never have to strive for anything? Usually, not much.
Ω
So, consider how important the lesson that life is giving you in your darkest days. Perhaps this moment is particularly significant to you and this pain is some very real evidence of it.
In an eloquent feedback mechanism, the more painful it is, the more significant the lesson. Or to use a cliche; no pain no gain?
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Also remember this if you should ever feel intimidated by a lack of official or academic qualifications. You may very well have countless qualifications life has awarded you personally.
These are much harder to test and probably don’t fit onto a nice piece of embossed paper, or a CV. You don’t get an officially recognised award for these , but if the scars are deep enough or the deeds grand enough, people may well notice. This does not mean they will afford you respect.
And intelligence? Well, surely stupidity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result? As an enlightened participant in the school of life, this is not for you.
**
When things get really hard, if you can, muster a smile. Life is only trying to guide you.

Image Credit: -Marlith-

Author name:: admin
Publish date:: August 5th, 2010
Discussion:: No Comments

Article – Thought Tool – Many Solutions

Here’s a new way to approach a problem that may be troubling you.
Consider: whatever happens, you always have multiple solutions. The challenge is just these are not always clear to you.
Put another way, every problem has a solution, even if these solutions are unknown.
For every problem lies any number of solutions. These just need to be uncovered.
Ω
Let us apply this to an important real world example, Cancer.
The persistant and resourceful research scientists know there are is a solution to deal with this problem. They bring us closer to the solution (the cure) by applying this proactive approach. They know the problem is surmountable. They know we have multiple research paths which could lead to the cure. These options could be from drugs, genetic engineering, or a number of other experimental methods.
Negative View: We haven’t found the cure for cancer. We have been researching it for decades.
Reframe: There are probably a number of different ways to cure cancer, and we are working diligantly to find them. We hedge our bets and encourage cross polination by following various different methods. Overall, we are taking a diverse approach to a large and challenging problem.
∞
This manner of thinking reminds us of the wonderful idea that every force has it’s opposite. Every night has it’s day, every winter has a summer and every problem has it’s solution.
Believe it. It will empower you to approach problems head on, and persuade you that, if you are stuck, you can allow yourself to look at things from a new perspective.
What is hard to see from one angle is clear from another. Think of looking at a piece of paper edge on. Then think of looking at it face on. See what I mean?
∞
Dont despair, dear reader. Know that there are multiple answers and there are multiple ways to find them.

∫

Want to help be part of the solution? click – http://supportus.cancerresearchuk.org/home/

jack xij oughton poem article discover the sun 001 246x300 Article Thought Tool Many Solutions

Image Credit: Tony the Misfit

Author name:: admin
Publish date:: July 31st, 2010
Discussion:: No Comments